Personal Growth

october_novemberOctober is finally over.  It’s been a whirlwind of activity and unexpected challenges, and I’m glad to have it behind us.

The move is done except for unpacking boxes, and we’re determined to not let that linger too long.  We’re taking our time to carefully choose the furniture and decor items we want in our space and so far we’re very happy with our choices in feathering our nest.  Our new adjustable bed is fantastic, and while I’m still in the adjustment period for it, I think it will be very good for my chronic conditions.

The Bell’s Palsy has mostly resolved, thank goodness.  My doctor can still detect some very slight droop in the eye and mouth, I still have to be careful when applying makeup or moisturizer to that eye because it doesn’t close all the way unless the other eye is also closed.  But my speech is normal again, and my vision is almost back to normal.  The eye gets twitchy sometimes, but that’s normal due to the nerve regenerating.

nanowrimo I had said I was going to start doing NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) once I was done with grad school.  Last year I was having flares of my conditions too bad to manage to keep up with the writing.  This year I am coming off a really stressful period and just feel like it’s too much to put myself under the pressure of a deadline right now.  I think it’s the better part of valor to decline yet again.  I will have opportunities for NaNoWriMo camps in the spring and again next November.

Besides, it’s not like I’m going to stop being creative.  I am going to work to start putting more content here on my blog on a more regular schedule.  Now that I can speak normally again, I also want to start work on a project I’ve had in mind for several months which is a YouTube channel/vlog focusing on awareness of chronic illness and disability.  I don’t expect to get rich, but I hope to get enough of a following to raise awareness of chronic illness, and the challenges we Spoonies face.  Especially we Spoonies who are “well enough” to work, but there are trade-offs in other parts of our lives to carry it off.  If I can manage to get enough followers and supporters to justify upgrading my equipment beyond my new iPhone (there’s another story in that) and my iPad, that’ll be cool too.  So I’m working on several initial scripts for that endeavor, not sure when I’ll have enough material to feel comfortable starting that off, but I’m hoping by Thanksgiving and definitely before Christmas.

So ‘bye for now, and be well.

When I sat down to write my surgiversary update, I realized it had been over six months since my last post. I had planned at the first of the year to start posting updates at least weekly, if not more often. The best laid plans, and all that. Spoonie life makes it hard to juggle all the things you want to do. Energy reserves are limited, and even though sitting down and writing a few paragraphs doesn’t seem like it should take that much energy, even just remembering that you were going to do it, or getting up to get the keyboard for the iPad if you manage to remember, sometimes is too much.

I continue to love my job. I have been working on some exciting technology projects to expand healthcare interactions for patients into the digital space, which is super exciting. I also have an opportunity to move into an area of data governance which is actually a personal area of interest, so that will be exciting for me. Most people find it dull and tedious but I’m not most people. Working full-time means I have very little energy left for the rest of my life, and it’s hard reconciling that with my goals and aspirations. But it’s the reality for so many of us Spoonies. I keep reminding myself how lucky I am to be able to work full time and support my family because many Spoonies struggle with the basic necessities and access to healthcare because they can’t work or can’t work full-time.

As much as I wanted my focus word for the year to be “calm” it doesn't appear that is to be my fate for 2019. A few months ago, Hubby and I were vacationing with some very good friends and discussing challenges we’re facing, and it became ridiculously obvious that the answer to many of our challenges is to sell our house and move closer to friends, work, and other interests and rent at least for a few years. This means that we now are throwing ourselves into decluttering, packing, and house repairs so that we can get our house on the market and start looking for a rental in our target area. Not “calm” at all! Calm may be on the other side of this, but it sure isn’t here and now.

Health-wise, things seem to be settling down. (Superstitiously knocking on the nearest wood item available.) I have found a new rheumatologist, and I really like her. She’s young and isn’t blowing off my increased pain with the fibromyalgia. She repeated a lot of lab work that had been done several years ago and not repeated since, and has confirmed that the psoriatic arthritis is indeed still in remission. This is good news, because while I’m still in pain, it means that there’s likely no joint damage being done at this time. She’s given me some things to try to reduce the pain levels, and admonished me to stop avoiding the mild opioids I’ve been prescribed if I need them in order to do the mild exercising we both know I need in order to reduce the fibro pain.

So that's my life right now… working, recovering, working some more, and trying to get the house sorted, packed, and market ready when I can. Hoping to come up for air sometime soon.

Many of us said 2015 was the worst year ever.
Then came 2016 and that was horrible.
2017 was an absolute dumpster fire.
We’re running out of ways to describe worse.

2018 wasn’t all bad for me personally. I landed an incredible job this year. I’m still married to the greatest guy ever, and my family is all still relatively healthy. I’ve spent great times with friends and family. We increased our furry family count right before Christmas and it was a good move.

2018 also sucked rotten eggs in many ways. I won’t go into the politics in this post, it shouldn’t be too hard to figure out where I stand in that regard. My chronic illnesses have all flared up over the year, to a startling degree in the last couple of months. Friends & family with their own health issues have fought hard this year too.

I’ve written before about choosing a theme for the upcoming year instead of making resolutions. For 2018, I had chosen a theme of “renewal”. I forgot that renewal often requires a good deal of destruction. In many ways, I got my renewal but with a healthy dose of destruction.

I am trying to decide on my theme for 2019. I don’t want to tempt fate by predicting what the year will be like. One of my good friends repeatedly says, “Expectations decrease joy.” If I expect good things to happen, then I’m setting myself up for disappointment. If I expect bad things to happen, then I’m borrowing trouble and not able to enjoy the present. Then again, I’m also a person who does better mentally when I’ve got a plan, and that requires projecting a bit. So I’m trying to find a middle path between planning and expectations.

For the upcoming year’s theme, I’m toying with “Peace”, “Calm”, and “Health”. Peace and Calm seem almost synonymous. Health seems pretty broad. I have a lot of areas I’d like to grow in, but Growth is another idea like renewal where you end up with a lot of hard stuff in the process, and I’ve had enough of that for a while. I like the idea of Abundance but it doesn’t specify a lot of good stuff or a lot of bad stuff. So I keep coming back to what I really crave this year… that it’s a calm one. That doesn’t preclude growth or abundance, but it does set an intention for myself and my life to keep an even keel. I’ll mull it over today and we’ll see where I land.

happynewyear2018So it’s a new year.  I’m always struck how this arbitrary line in time is given so much importance.  I mean, it makes sense.  But then it doesn’t, really.  Resolutions are made and rarely make it past the first week of the new year, but we still do it, year after year.  Wipe the slate, start over, good intentions and plans for better outcomes.  Until we “fail” and then it’s forgotten until the next New Year’s Eve/Day.

I’ve tried to stay away from the whole New Year Resolution thing for years because I believe it sets us up for failure.  Instead, I’ve tried to embrace the idea of choosing a theme for the year, and focusing on that.

Of course grad school, coming to grips with chronic illness, changing jobs, weight loss surgery, and other changes for the past few years has demanded my attention and focus, and even yearly themes have been something I’ve lost track of as the year progressed.

2018 feels different to me, and I think it’s because it’s really a time of change for me.  I finished grad school mid-December.  I started looking back and realized that I’ve been in school almost non-stop in addition to work and family, for basically the last 10 years.  It’s been a decade since I’ve had significant amounts of free time, so this is all unfamiliar territory for me.  When invited to join things, or when I’ve had an interest in an activity or hobby for the last few years, I’ve said “yes, in 2018.”  Well, 2018 is here and I have quite the list.  I can’t do everything that has interested me, but I do have some things to start with.

So I’ve decided the theme of 2018 is going to be Renewal.  Renewal of hobbies and interests.  Renewal of career momentum.  Renewal of relationships with the people most important to me.  Renewal of my self-care program.  Renewal of my physical health initiatives.

So Happy New Year, and I share this quote from Neil Gaiman as my wish for all of you:

gaiman_new_year

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Well, it’s that time of year again. 2016-i-was-the-most-awful-year-possible-2017-hold-my-beer

Time to look back and see how the year went, and try to decide what’s important for the upcoming year.

2017 has been a rough one, certainly.  I think the country made a mistake with the election of #45, and I find him to be a complete embarrassment.  I believe we’ll be cleaning up his mess for the rest of my natural life.  I find myself anxious and upset over politics and political maneuvers every single day.  It doesn’t help that our representatives in Congress don’t seem to care about the lives of their constituents, only the grift lining their pockets.  I know it’s been that way for a long time, but it seems to be getting worse and worse since Citizens United.  I honestly fear for my country.

On a personal level, it’s been a year with ups and downs, but mostly ups.

Since having the weight loss surgery in August of 2016, I have lost approximately 110-115 lbs.  This has resulted in vast improvements in my health overall, and likely contributed to my auto-immune condition going into remission this year.  My health news hasn’t been all good, though.  I developed thyroid nodules and a host of odd symptoms that seemed to resolve after stopping my auto-immune medication.  I also was formally diagnosed with fibromyalgia.  The fall/winter brought a string of migraines and respiratory problems, and that seems to be a seasonal pattern for me.  With all of that, plus grad school, my weight loss has stalled out about 15-20 lbs away from my goal.  I’ve been able to maintain pretty well, which is good.  Once the winter-related health issues start resolving in the spring, I’ll hopefully be able to get that last 20 lbs off.

Ah, grad school, how I loved thee… NOT.  I am happy and proud to say I slogged through my last semester of grad school, and passed with a GPA of 3.57.  I got seriously behind with the capstone project due to health complications, and lost a lot of points in my topics class due to late postings as I tried to keep up.  I seriously considered abandoning the semester and trying again in the spring, but good friends and family convinced me to push through.  My capstone professor was flexible with it and helped me catch up, which I greatly appreciate.  I am SO happy to have it done now, and so glad people who care about me convinced me to push through.

Now I have 2018 upcoming, which was the year I told everyone I’d get back into a social life.  I have so many things that I wanted to do that I had to shelve until 2018, so now I have to see which ones I still want to do and what the priorities are for all of it.  It’s strange to have free time again and not worry about assignments or reading that I’m behind on all the time.

On the homefront, the Mister and I continue to be blissfully (and annoyingly according to Munchkin) happy together.  After getting it so badly wrong a couple of times, it’s still a wonder to me that I got it completely and totally right this time.  I truly feel blessed.  All our kids are doing great.  We did gain a new fluffy member of the household when a young tuxedo tomcat invited himself in on a chilly evening.  I posted to the neighborhood boards and no one claimed him, so George became a member of the family after getting vetted and fixed.  Princess Buttercup is decidedly NOT amused, Ginny is alternately interested in playing and ticked off about him.  The dogs don’t know what to do with him, especially since he keeps trying to go into their area of the house.  But it’s fun having a young boy cat in the house again… he demands playtime or he gets truly obnoxious with the other cats, and he CLIMBS EVERYTHING.

Well, that’s most of the update for 2017.  I’m planning to do a lot more writing in 2018, so stay tuned for that.

I hope every good thing in the new year for all of you!

And it doesn't even look like it's an oncoming train.

I'm in the final countdown for #gradSchoolSucks -- 3 weeks left.  It's hard to accept the fact that I'll no longer be a student a month from now.

Well, IF I get my paper done for my Capstone and I don't flake on the rest of my Topics units.

I am imagining all the things I'll get done with all that spare time.  And then laughing at myself, because most of it will assuredly be spent catching up on my reading list and Netflix binging.

But to have a life again!  Woohoo!  5K's, dance lessons, learning languages... I have a list of things I want to start or take up again in 2018.  Whether all of them will happen or not is anyone's guess.  I just won't have the crush of grad school pressing on me.

In a way this feels like a brand new start on life.  Even though I still struggle with chronic illness and everything that goes with it, I'm so much healthier than I was when I started back to school all those years ago.  I even broke another weight plateau this morning, putting me only 5# away from the top of my ultimate weight goal range, and 15# away from the low point of the range.  I had been only marginally watching my intake, and haven't been terribly active with all the migraines, allergies, upper respiratory infections, and such that seem to be my life in October/November each year.  I'd resigned myself to maintaining my weight until after the holidays.  So anything that comes off on its own is a fantastic bonus.

So right now I'm still in the tunnel, but I see the light and all I have to do is keep moving and I'll get there.

If you can't fly then run,
if you can't run then walk,
if you can't walk then crawl,
but whatever you do
you have to keep moving forward.
― Martin Luther King Jr.

It's been a while since I posted. #gradSchoolSucks and all that.

I have been struggling with a lot of stuff this month.

The "on this day" feature of Facebook has made it clear that October is migraine month for me, and this month was no exception. In fact, my migraine monster decided to go for a personal record. I had three weeks straight at the end of September and beginning of October where I didn't go a single 48 hours without a migraine or other severe headache. I finally determined that sinus pressure, partially due to crazy weather changes, was playing a part, along with a bit of dehydration from the constant pain. Munchkin's first neurologist (who was a Godsend) said migraineurs cannot let themselves get hungry or thirsty or they risk a headache. Wiser words were likely never spoken. I signed my life away at Walgreen's for some real Sudafed, upped my water intake, and along with several rounds of a version of the ER Migraine Cocktail, finally got the cycle broken.

The #meToo wave crashed over Facebook, and I felt moved to share a little bit of my experience. This caused me to publicly state some things that went on in marriage #2 that I'd never spoken of publicly. That required a lot of emotional processing, and I'm currently re-evaluating people who remain in social circles with both Ex#2 and myself. I think it was worth it, as a couple of guys on my friends list posted that the #meToo wave showed them in perfect relief something they'd never realized before. That virtually every woman they know had suffered some degree of sexual harrassment, assault, or abuse in their lives. I really hope that this is the beginning of a sea change in the way we talk about violence against women.

I'd like to point out that I'm being gender specific with my terms, because the violence is also perpetrated against non-binary and trans people when they present or are percieved as female, so I have not changed my wording because I believe that this particular violence is against women specifically. Non-binary and trans people face ADDITIONAL violence because they are not conforming to societal gender norms, and this is equally wrong. I don't like conflating the issue because it dilutes the impact of the violence against women, and it also erases the idea that non-binary and trans people who present or are perceived as female get TWO kinds of violence directed at them. I also recognize that men are victims of sexual harrassment, assault, and abuse as well. They should also be believed and supported, no question. But again, I don't like conflating issues and want to see violence against male targets given its full due.

Anyway, enough social commentary for today. LOL.

Work is stressful. Grad school is stressful. I told my therapist last night that I think I've maxed myself out on stress. It's causing me to procrastinate with school stuff making this last semester that much more of a grind and adding more to the stress levels. It's causing me to become ambivalent about projects at work, which is never a recipe for my best effort and results.

In good news for the month, I'm back to my regular dose of the fibro meds, and my daily pain level is a 2-3 out of 10 which is a vast improvement from the 5-6 it was earlier in the year. My fatigue is getting better, but then I'm still recovering from the beating October delivered to me. I still hate having a fibro diagnosis because it's so non-specific and has a lot of stigma attached to it, but I have to be glad that I'm in the percentage of people for whom the meds seem to work well.

So I have basically seven more weeks of grad school to gut through, and then I'm hoping life gets a lot happier. In the meantime, I'm hanging on and pushing through. Now that the weather is starting to level out as Fall blows in, I'm hoping that November will be a lot better of a month for me.

It's been a little over a year since I started tracking my "Level 10 Life" and I thought it was time for an update. I think I've been improving my life in the last year, so it's interesting to see it graphically represented.

Companions - My goal this year was to cultivate closer relationships with my core group of companions. Between #gradSchoolSucks, chronic illness, weight loss surgery, and other demands on my time, I haven't spent as much time with the people I care about but I think it's been a little better. Progress, not perfection, right?

Romance - The Mister continues to be the most awesome mate for me. We had our first real honest to goodness fight recently, and I'm frankly impressed with the way we recovered from it. I have never been with anyone where we were able to be painfully open and honest about the things that drove the fight (because it's rarely about whatever the fight was about) and end up closer as a result. He's awesome, and we're awesome together.

Health - I did one of the best things I have ever done for my health last year, with the weight loss surgery. I've had some rough spots since health-wise but it remains a really good decision, I think. I'm able to move easier than I could last year and I just overall feel better, even when my chronic illnesses are fighting me. I gave myself credit for that, but there's still a lot to be done. I just signed up with Good Measures which provides consultation with Registered Dieticians who are experienced with bariatric patients. Had my first consult this morning, and am really feeling good about this step as well. My goals for the next year are to improve the quality and variety of my diet, and get back to working out reguarly (including weights) so I also need to get enough protein in to support muscle gain.

Environment - We've de-cluttered quite a bit, even though you can't tell right now from all the boxes piled up in my front room right now. I haven't posted about it here, but Munchkin ended up moving home after the roommate situation went WAY south. She'll be here for a year or so pursuing her career goals and building up a financial reserve for her next foray into independence. So a lot of the decluttering and home maintenance has gotten set aside, but there's still some improvement.

Career - I've been increasing my responsibility and skill set at work, and will graduate this December with my master's, so I'm doing good in this arena. Next year will be focused on finding the next job, if that's in the cards.

Finances - Haven't managed many of the financial goals, but we did buy The Mister a used truck for cash, and paid off my jalopy. We're doing better than just treading water, but there's still a long way to go on this. Re-committing to YNAB again.

Personal Growth - This is completely stagnated while #gradSchoolSucks. I don't have the bandwidth to do much here. I do want to start journaling regularly again, and grad school ends in December, so that'll be when I can really start moving on this area again.

Spirituality - Pretty much the same response as for Personal Growth. Not a lot of time to focus on this.

Recreation - Ditto.

Giving - I'm still medic-ing for the derby league, and really enjoy that. Nothing else has really changed, but as with Personal Growth/Spirituality/Recreation, 2018 will be my year!

So in summary, some forward progress in the areas I prioritized this year through WLS and Spoonie Life, and still lots of room for improvement.

I haven't as yet posted much with the Politics tag in this blog. There's been so much going on in my life with #gradSchoolSucks and WLS and living with rheumatoid disease, that politics necessarily took a back seat. The political climate has certainly changed over the last six months, and I am finding myself getting more and more vocal about politics in every arena as a result.

I'm a progressive liberal, and I'm not ashamed of it. Despite what many may think, this is NOT contrary to being fiscally responsible, or to having personal liberty. I also make a distinction between progressivism and liberalism. David Sirota in his blog "What's the Difference Between a Liberal and a Progressive" (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-sirota/whats-the-difference-betw_b_9140.html) states the following:

[...] there is a fundamental difference when it comes to core economic issues. It seems to me that traditional “liberals” in our current parlance are those who focus on using taxpayer money to help better society. A “progressive” are those who focus on using government power to make large institutions play by a set of rules.

To put it in more concrete terms - a liberal solution to some of our current problems with high energy costs would be to increase funding for programs like the Low Income Home Energy Assistance Program (LIHEAP). A more “progressive” solution would be to increase LIHEAP but also crack down on price gouging and pass laws better-regulating the oil industry’s profiteering and market manipulation tactics. A liberal policy towards prescription drugs is one that would throw a lot of taxpayer cash at the pharmaceutical industry to get them to provide medicine to the poor; A progressive prescription drug policy would be one that centered around price regulations and bulk purchasing in order to force down the actual cost of medicine in America (much of which was originally developed with taxpayer R&D money).

Let’s be clear - most progressives are also liberals, and liberal goals in better funding America’s social safety net are noble and critical.

I realize that this puts me in direct opposition to my friends and family who espouse Conservative and Libertarian ideology (both Big-L and little-L). I disagree that the solution to every problem is "remove the government from the equation" and let people sort things out without government interference.  But that doesn't mean we don't have common ground we could start from.

I agree that there are numerous cases of government overreach (a town north of me is trying to impose building restrictions on people who live outside the city's jurisdiction) and government corruption (too many to list). It would be nice if we lived in a society where people could be trusted to do the right thing and the free market corrected all evils. History tells us that's unrealistic, especially when looking at corporations. A lot of the "government overreach" has been in response to egregious actions on the part of corporations. The Department of Labor and the Fair Labor Standards Act for example is rooted in a history of corporations horribly exploiting and abusing their employees. The classic libertarian response of "they can go get other jobs" doesn't wash, since corporations were able to reap huge financial benefits from the abuse and exploitation of workers too desperate to feed their families to go elsewhere.

I used to agree that it was ridiculous for people to have to go through the time and expense of obtaining a cosmetology license in order to braid hair. Until I got more information on the story from my stylist. Braiding hair seems pretty simple, but in actuality there's a lot of information that someone should understand before opening up a shop. Many clients have had irreparable damage because of products and techniques that are not only damaging to hair, but to the scalp itself. Those who set up shop in their garage or whatever don't have assets to cover the results of a lawsuit, so the injured clients are left with no remedy. Most laws have roots in people being harmed, and trying to prevent it whenever possible, even if the history and reasoning is not apparent to everyone.

In short, it all comes down to what kind of society one wants to live in. The lawless Wild West may sound romantic in bodice-ripping romances and old TV shows. I wouldn't want to live there however, because the reality is that people in groups tend to turn alll "Lord of the Flies". I don't want to live in that kind of society, where ultimately whoever is in power makes the rules and the rest of the people have no say in it, nor any recourse for the abuses of those in power. I see government as the only protection available to people in the society. Right now, corporations are the group in power and our political system has been bent to reflect the goals of corporations and the ultra-rich who run them, instead of protecting the people who are the backbone of the country. Abolition of the government "intrusion" into corporate dealings is the absolute worst thing that could happen in my estimation.

Does government need to be held accountable? Absolutely. Should government programs be held to a higher standard for economy and efficiency than they currently are? Absolutely. Are some government programs too far gone to save? Very likely. Does that mean that every government program should be terminated, and all federal regulatory bodies disbanded? No way, no how. Look at pictures of the air over Los Angeles from the 1960s compared to now.

Downtown Los Angeles smog photographs by the Herald-Examiner Collection (1968, left) and Gary Leonard (2005, right) courtesy of the Los Angeles Public Library (http://www.lapl.org/#photo-collection).

Federal regulations are responsible for cleaner air in LA, period. There's still needed improvement in air quality in many cities including LA, but the improvements achieved by the EPA and the regulations that preceded its establishment are directly responsible for the ability to breathe at least decent air in our cities. Right now the EPA is fighting to stay operational, as it's under attack by corporate interests. When did corporate interests trump (pun intentional) the health and welfare of the American citizens? The ideology that government is bad is part of what's allowing the EPA to be gutted, instead of fixing what was broken with it (and I admit there is plenty broken).

Ultimately, we have too large of a society with our 320 million people (Census Bureau, 2015) to manage with a Wild West mentality. Too many corporations are trying (and succeeding) to influence legislation to their financial benefit. And yes, taxes are needed to run the government. I'll write more about taxes in another post. "Taxation is theft" is a catchy meme, but it ignores the responsibility people have to support their society, because of the benefits they reap from it.

I want to live in a society where everyone truly can become whatever they want to be. That requires everyone in the society to have a certain amount of safety net. People who have security in the lower 2 levels of Maslow's hierarchy are more able to contribute positively to society. Meeting those needs is a lot less expensive overall than dealing with the negative consequences as a society for not meeting those needs. A healthy population is one that enhances the GDP and drives the economy, not a sick population with a bunch of really wealthy dudes at the top. A healthy population breeds innovation and discovery, because when people are secure in knowing they have a safe place to live, enough to eat, and healthcare they are able to build new businesses, experiment with ideas, and take chances that those scrabbling for a bare existence cannot. How many cures for cancer remain undiscovered because the kid who would have found it dies due to lack of healthcare and decent food?  Crime drops when people have options and safety as well.

So yes, I am in favor of universal healthcare. I've done a hell of a lot of research on the subject over the years, and as a nurse I've seen what happens to people when we don't have it. I'm in favor of providing safe places for people to live, and healthy food for them. I believe it's the responsibility of the richest nation on Earth to provide these things, and excuses as to why it can't happen are just that - excuses. In this current political climate, the excuses aren't even ideological -- they are for the benefit of oligarchs and corporations.

For me, this goes beyond ideology. Until people stop arguing ideology and start working together for common goals they can agree on, the corporations and oligarchs win. If you believe that the perfect society is one with no regulations, we could at least agree to work together to reduce the ones we agree are the worst. If you believe that the perfect society is one where people are free to pursue their dreams with no restrictions, we could at least agree to keep corporations and oligarchs from abusing and financially enslaving them. If you believe the perfect society is one where everyone is treated equally, but you disagree with me on laws for protected classes, we could at least work to stop the abuses that are currently happening.

Instead, the perfect becomes the enemy of the good. Because you and I don't agree on what the perfect society looks like, we fight about that instead of coming together and promoting the improvements we can agree on. The oligarchs and corporations win and we all lose.

I started writing this post today because last night divergent political viewpoints caused a huge fight between me and one of the most important people in my life. I intended to write about how politics adversely impacts relationships. I'll have more on that subject later. Right now what I want to say to anyone who will actually listen is that there is a common ground when we give up the extremes.

Please, for the love of our country and our future, give up the extremes and start looking for commonality.

Well, it finally happened.  Munchkin has flown the coop.

Shortly before Thanksgiving last year, Munchkin's dad (Ex#1) passed away after long-standing health issues.  As she dealt with cleaning out his hoard (seriously, I'd forgotten how much stuff that man could cram into a closet) she decided she would keep the lease on his duplex and her BFF would move in with her.  It's taken her this long to get the place liveable and get the bulk of his stuff cleared out in between school and work.

But this week Muchkin & roomie decided even though things aren't 100% ready, to start sleeping over there and get the rest done while living in it.  So I'm officially an empty nester.  Though my garage will be serving as a storage facility for Munchkin's overflow for the forseeable future, and she hasn't completely cleared out her room yet.  Hopefully she'll finish that out this weekend.  Her leasing company bans pit bulls, so the dogs will be staying with us, and I imagine Munchkin will still be a frequent visitor.  We'll just have to train her to text before she comes over so we can put clothes on.  LOL.

So it hasn't quite hit me or the Mister yet.  We'll have our hands full for a while moving our own furniture around and filling space back up, as we get used to rattling around in the house by ourselves.  I plan to take over Munchkin's old room and turn it into my office/craft space and we'll see how the rest of it comes together.  I think we'll adjust to it just fine, I don't anticipate being all weepy over my baby being on her own.  But you never know until you are actually dealing with a situation, right?  We'll see how it goes.